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yesterday we broke up..than ma confiscate my phone..nevermind.. now my mood is getting worst.. i just feel like dying right now..i drank a whole bottle of cough syrup..took 25 pills and knock out.. the feeling suck okay?? why he bother since im the one who initiate the break..?? told him no one's gonna blame him..i am me..death is the consequence of being alive.. i dont care who feels what or do what..its their freedom and i have my own freedom since i do not belong to anyone right now..i will drink, get drank and party till dawn at alex's home!! i live my life the way i want it to be!! SOME PROMISES ARE EITHER HARD TO KEEP OR ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN !! don't have to bother if i live or die..i'll just love you in silence, cry in silence..and i'll move on someday soon !! now all YOU have to do is leave me alone !! weather my friends msg you on what i'm doing, just fucking leave me alone..i die is my problem..get high and steaming like shit, its my problem..i dont even want to hear about YOU right now..even if someday you all me and act as though nothing has happen..i'll tell you these..the scars wont heal..ah fuck it la..its my life la..no one's blaming you and you're not the bad guy..get this straight into your damn head..! DON'T LOOK UP FOR ME ANYMORE!!! now i'm going back to whom i used to be..a wild idiot..emo static..crazy freak..

now i just have a mindset, guys are sitting on their brain..they just hang up the phone and dont even know our tears just atoumatically drop..they stress we not stress huh?? they alone stress la..bf dont call//sms you for 3 days what do you think gf will think?? they will get worried right??than they will give all sorts of fucking dumb excuses.."oh, i'm stress la..oh, i confuse la" need us treat us nice..dont need us dump us aside..what do you take us for?? doormat?? fuck la okay?? its so like shit la..ah whatever la..i lost trust in guys right now..still no one can beat my ex affection for me..and i know it..!! i just feel sometimes guys SHOULD JUST UNDERSTAND HOW WE FEEL..!! I regret going into a fucked up relationship all over again..guys?? they always win one..they are on the winning side..

since now we are like that..lets just be like that..no friends but nothing..
all i can say is sorry..i cant change the fact that i've done what i've done..
all i can say is thanks for the memories..but i'll move on one day..
i hope whenever you think of me, your heart dies..the way my heart is breaking right now..
its torn into pieces..but i can say you're worth the tears and the heart pain..but the promises i made to you..i'll break them..cause i cant keep them..and im not going to act as though nothing has happen..because its only going to hurt more..and i'm going to bang my head till i find nothing of us in my memories is left..i just want to forget you even as a friend..i'm sorry..its harder to breath right now..forget me..cause i'll forget you..many say not worth to cry over you..but i guess..it is..but its time for me to forget you..i'm really sad, and i'm seriously running a fever..i'm just going to let it run till i go mad someday.. but right now..i'm still loving you..

you held me tight..than you let me go..i left and now im hurt..i wished all this have never happened..and i wish i could reverse time and not knowing you..if my words hit you hard..im sorry.. but what i do right now..i dont want you to chap..i need time to cool down..but i know and i know and i know, i cant be your friend anymore..i'm gving up..it hurts to much to see..