❤wounded by good charlotte
Lost and broken
Hopeless and lonely
Smiling on the outside
Hurt beneath my skin
My eyes are fading
My soul is bleeding
I'll try to make it seem okay
But my faith is wearing thin

So help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That I'm open
And I'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me SEW them up

I only wanted a magazine
I only wanted a movie screen
I only wanted the life I'd read about and dreamed
And now my mind is an open book
And now my heart is an open wound
And now my life is an open SOUL for all to see

But help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That I'm open
And I'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me

So you come along
I push you away
Then kick and scream for you to stay
Cuz I need someone to help me
Oh I need someone to help me

To help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That I'm open
And I'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me sew them
I need someone to help me fill them
I need someone to help me close them up


i guess time heals all wound..fell and i fell deep now..
fall and fading..but i guess when all else fades, i doubt you'll be there..
since i'm loving you so much, i shall let you go..keep you right at the bottom of my heart..
but one day you decide to come back i will be gladly to let you in..but i might mot be the girl
you known before..
what i can say is i gave the best of me and its all i can give to you..
im sorry for all i've done..but i'm letting you go..
cause i want to be free..i want to stop clinging on someone i cant be with..
but for now i still love you..

'liLsaint
"Mrs Vengeance"

❤i know this sucks la..but you asked for it !!
today went to watch 881 !! omg im in love with the show !!!
hahas got alot cute "ah bengs" !! hehes..any way it was the hokkien songs that moved me to tears la..especially the " ye ren ye ban" it has the meaning there and i was crying like shit till my eyes super uber red!! ahh !! my contacts were blue manz.. but it a must watch show !! even i recommend it !! has to watch..its very touching la... 881 yo ah yo !!! ROYSTON TAN ROCK MY WORLD !! MR CUTIE !!
any ways..

im about to change my blog url..so ppl if you cant find my blog..this the hint... verticallyfa**** (not the four letter word hor!! )btw its around next week i think..yup..should be la..whats there to rise up?? better down..hahahs..no point too..leaving this church..woah !!! FREEDOM YO!!! can go back my places where i always hangout and let free !! back to the OLD SWEET LIFE OF LAURA !!
yay !! rejoicing like hell, beotch !!! waiting for the right time now..maybe this month maybe next..not november..im leaving for good mans !!cant take the pressure anymore..than got more time earn money than can go aus !! change venue liao..i want to be happy..

and yet CELL GROUP keep on pressurizing me.. I'M SORRY IF THIS SUCKED LA!! COS YOU PPL MADE MY LIFE SHIT OKAY?! yea.say to me be more like JESUS yet you can say to me in my face and your attitude is like not far from mine...what?? i come in church happy..next minute kena scolded infront of alot members..FUCK OKAY?! say i give you attitude please lor..my head la..say i give attitude?? i come in happy than kena scolded just for being late than say me?? obviously i TU LAN right ?? tell me you still can smile?? if you say you can i can say this BULLSHIT !! btw if you think im gossiping sorry hor!! this called a blog open to outsiders..btw i did not say name of anyone.. (: (its the CG NOT THE CHURCH NOTHING TO DO WITH CITY HARVEST PLEASE !!)

i dont mean to say all this la..i am grateful for all that you all done for me..but i cant swallow what you tell me in my face on friday and saturday infront of quite alot of ppl..
i admit i from N.T so?? look down on me la? i pai kia, vulgar, violent, a rotten apple, bad family background?? what can i do?? this is the chosen destiny since i was born!! can i blame my parents for my upbringing?? no you know !! i try so hard to change, but i cant do it anymore..the more i try the more i lose myself..i lose my self being.. the more i will struggle.. yet i try to keep my cool in church..i emo is got reason..do think i like it?? no you know..the feeling suck..i cant say it out..i keep them in my heart.. i dont want ppl to see the saddest state of my heart..but you ppl keep pushing me to change..i keep my cool, i have never shouted at anyone of our cgm..dont push me to tell of you all to fuck off you know..i have my limits one..in the first place do you all know me very well?? i attitude is a way of telling you enough is enough ..yet you all push it..dont tell me its not enough..cause i got many other thing to do on saturdays..but i chose church..i have enough already la..its a way of saying i quit this family..i quit everything i've done..in CGL's eye, CGM's eyes..IM NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!! i hope i said this made you all happy..i quit doing this JOb.. I QUIT !! i'd be a fool saying i'm happy changing..the fact is its not me.. you can say i have serious emotional problems..you know what its you ppl who are !! late only scold until like shit okay!!!

next time scold me REMEMBER PLEASE DONT ONLY SAY MY ATTITUDE PLEASE MENTION MY BACKGROUND, MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS I MIX WITH OKAY???
REMEMBER HOR..SAY EVERYTHING I AM..SAY INFRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE !! DONT TELL ME YOU ARE SORRY..DONT BOTHER ASKING ME COME BACK..I LOST FAITH IN THIS CELL GROUP...MARK MY WORDS..ITS NOT COMING FROM THE EMO ME..ITS COMING FROM THE ORIGINAL ME..PROPERLY TAKE CARE OF YOUR CGMs DONT PUSH THEM.. !! DONT SCOLD THEM INFRONT OF OTHERS !! THIS IS CALLED RESPECT OTHERS THAN OTHERS WILL RESPECT YOU..PPL GOT FACE AND FEELINGS ONE..DO YOU LIKE ME SCOLD YOU INFRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS?? OR EVEN IN PUBLIC?? NO RIGHT?? RESPECT MAN !!! IT PISSES PPL OFF RIGHT?? DUHHH!!HELLO! PPL, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR OTHERS LA..DOESN'T MEAN YOU GOT AUTHORITY MEANS YOU CAN GO ROUND SCOLDING PPL INFORNT OF 0THERS LA..SAY PRIVATELY OR SOMETHING LA..PLS LA PAI TUO LA !!

If any of you members not happy with what i said feel free to CONFRONT me in PUBLIC :)
i welcome you with open arms..

- if you think i was "gossiping" its called a blog btw..
- if you think i have serious emotional problem thats just me (not depression)
- if you want to go ask the HEAD of our cg, all by means..he can come to my face and talk to me..
- if you think im bitchy or something..well thats your fucking problem..oh well..
- if you got anything "GOSSIP" bout me SAY IT IN MY FACE !!

❤i hate everything i am right now !!!
i just wish ppl who try to change me, just stop..i have enough of everyone telling me to change..i just wanna live my live for me to have fun to bring out that girl i am..i love piercings and tattoo..SO?i admit im alittle vulgur..violent..on the darkside?? so?? does that make me different from any of you?? everyone has got their own character?? tell me you dont?! tell me you dont have your bad times?? i have alot okay?! its just that you ppl dont understand me?? dont know me dont under estimate me..i got my limits one..when i blow i know its not going to be nice..that does not mean i wont go into your face and tell you off..my friends neither are happy with you all..i am who i am..i need time..under so much pressure, how do you expect me to fucking smile and give face..sorry when i'm mad i cant pretend a smile for you all..thats not me..

but like i said whatever la..leaving soon..than you all dont have to see my fuck up ATTITUDE!! dont need to my black face..less one member to bother if late or not..its okay one..i'll still do good..
anyways...



last thursday at home with my usual buddies!! nikki diana rachael..hahas
nikki pierced her tongue..i pierced my lips..and its fucking swollen again..suck man!! hais nvm..friday and saturday sucked for me..got scolded by cgl and some members..right down fucke up..so like whatever..i dont give a shit no more..i dont want to bother anything..since they treat me like shit..so be it..what ever..i dont give a damn..i dont want to bother much...make me more angry..than kor they all will want more to go down and settle..fuck la...i dont want to bother much la..WHATEVER!!! so be it !! LOL..
anyways tmr is nikki's bday..intending to smash her head into the cake..ahahs..i hope that doesn't happen to me next week on 25th sep tmrs next wk..next tues..RAHHH!!!! ahahahs..

oh yea..the bag photo is up..let you all see..flaunt my new bag abit..hahas..bhb..jk..

i'm in love with my bag !! hahas.. crazy over this bag.. anyways..hahahs..
i'm kinda tired..dont wanna blog anymore..hahahas..so just say bye for now..

'liLsaint Vengeance..
" Mrs Vengeance "

❤
was at O School last friday..LOL!! saw yong zhi..hahas..becoming more shuai liao..hahahs..as for me i injured my back so didn't get to dance..oh well..went i went in to damn door..my heart was pounding like nuts !! scared to see him..hahas..anyways just came to update this blog..soon changing my url..to something more emo i guess...

got a new zinc bag..the guy in the shop say order for us 4 of the black bags in the end 2 brown and 2 black..as usual i cant live without my bag being black...so me and nikki took the black, while diana and rach got the brown ones..and i hanged a chain too!! with some syudds on the stip too..hahas..so after that went to my house to slack..watched norbit half way..nikki diana and rach gotta go than tmr coming again..than diana wants me to help her cut her hair to save her looks..hahahas..

anyway everyone ask me my birthday wish..i was like ???? huh???? why??
so anyway what could make it even sweeter is him to at least msg me and wish me my sweet sixteen..but i know i'll never receive his sms ..hais so i'll not think bout it..i just want to have a good day on that day..just celebrate at the beach and have all the fun i can have get high and drunk..get thrown in to the sea..okay..i dont want to get wet..ahahas...maybe at the esplande area bah..hope cango to the roof..open champiane adnstuff..hahahs..okay ?? hahahs i just want to have fun on my 16 year of my damn live..i just live this 16th year once ..and im gonna have fun !!!but i know there will not be a Cinderella story like every sweet sixteen does..oh well..fairytales dont really exist do they????

13 more freaking days to my birthday..but i doubt i'll really enjoy it..hais..fuck up birthday!!!
oh well...im sleepy..im gonna bed..tmr got exams lo...alamak..hahas..


love

'liLsaint Vengeance