❤crying again..
okay er its suppose to be 30th dec but oh wells..

TODAY???
dad got admitted to CGH..im fucking hating life and i just want to kill myself..
alright it all started the day WHERE I WOKE UP LATE..DID NOT GO TA CHURCH..
than it went off like a piece of melody..dang..was in botanic garden than for thanksgiving for E361..
than ZZ was sing a piece of meant to be a rock kinda song but acuostic song
- Perfect by Simple Plan.. oh wells..it really touched my heart la..as the dang melody continues..
after that got some stuff like we gotta appreciate our members la..halfway through it..
i got an msg saying my dad was admitted to CGH..
I FUCKING SWEAR I WAS SO TERRIFIED.. for that moment i thought i was going to loose dad..
i felt like dying..maid told me dad had an heart attack..i so sudden just wanted mum to be with me..
to see dad..i really did not know what to do..

right now i feel like shit..everything changes..and it just dont feel the same anymore..
i'd rather not live than to be without my parents..GOD WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO ME??!!

I'm not perfect already..i've wasted my time of being an gangster bitch..wasted my life away..
i want a good change..must all the bad things come to change me?? is this suppose to be like that?!?!
im physically. emotional tired of life..i really cant hold on..im exhausted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant hold on any longer and nothing its going to change it..if life is so meaningless.. why should i
fucking carry on??! i never saw this coming..i never want this to happen..i dont even want this too!
IS THIS ALL PART GOD'S PLAN???[[ im not questioning God..]] but is it like suppose to be like this??
is this suppose to happen this way?!?! am i suppose to be like that??!! cry myself to sleep??
how long am i suppose to be like this??