❤Complicated
when ever i see him..
my mind just go blank..
and i only see him alone,
standing in front of me..

all his jokes is fading now
and my heart is aching now
and all i want is him to be with me right now..

maybe we weren't meant to be..
he's just so cold towards me..
i don't know where i've gone wrong..
why is he treating me this way?

was it something i said
was it something i did
was it something else?
what just did i do?

the look in his eye
is just too painful for me to see
the face i used to know is fading
nothing i want more than him..

Maybe it was my wishful thinking..
i don't know what else to do?
his the only one i feel for..
but it still feels empty..

i dont want to feel for him..it feels empty..
why issit coming back over and over again?

i want it to STOP
I HATE GOING INTO CIRCLES THAT NEVER ENDS!
IT NEVER STOPS!
I WANT AN END TO IT..
I DON'T CARE WHO HE LIKES OR DON'T!















sadden..

❤Crappy week..

every time i look into the mirror, i see you..


this whole past two weeks i've been having mood swing..and its terrible..
i've been thinking bout him alot..SHIT!



Hurtful words,
From my enemies of the last five years,
What's it like to die alone?

How does it feel when tears freeze,
When you cry?
The blood in your veins is twenty below.

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Something I cannot forget.

So for now, take this down a notch,
Crash my car through your window,
Just in time to kill you,

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Make sure you're still alive,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Something I cannot forget.

I can't take this (take) anymore
I can't take this (take) anymore
I can't take this (take) anymore
(I cannot feel what you've done to me)
I can't take this (take) anymore
(What you've done to me)

So for now, take this down a notch,
Crash my car through your window,
(Window)

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,
Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,
Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,
This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

Something I cannot forget.






its just me and you...

















P.S. I LOVE YOU

❤"someone" asked me this!
WHAT WOULD YOU WANT IN A GUY?!

kinda lame la.. cause its like im not in the mood for guys..
and this idiot popped that question out of the blue..
so i was like why you wanna know so much..kpo lei!

hahas so its like really weird two close opposite sex friends..
hmm..it felt awkward..so he was like "im bored la..entertain me
abit..so i can what kind of girls like what kind of guys"
my question mark is damn big la!!! im like why LA??????!!

so he was like giving the same answer...i couldn't be any bothered so i just
say this

10 Things with the heart
1) Understanding
1i)there for me when i need him.. 24/7 (except circumstances la)
2) Caring
3) loving
4) sensitivity (towards feeling)
5) wont anyhow scold and hit me..
6) Not childish but mature at the same time cute!
7) always smile..well i hardly do that..hahas
8) NOT PERVERTED!!
9) love me for who i am and not what i am
10) JUST LOVE ME!!

Things with the physical looks

1) dress damn modernly and manly
2) Body of a surfer!! (hahas)
3) Not TOOOOOO SKINNY and SCRONNY
4) Not some wanna be! but originality (:
5) someone nice to hug and cuddle (: [ hey i need to hugged when im sad!! ]



so its the end of it i guess..
hahas..and that person was like wow..
the guy.. i pity him..
wtf??! LOL dang stupid la..
oh wells.. yea..
and EVERYONE is trying to guess that
GUY! wth?? nhardly will guess correctly la..
that "place" so big.. pai tuo la!! hahas

dont say until ALEX SEETOH HOR!! er xin.... yuckkkkkkkkkkkksssss!
XPP hahas lamer..
oh wells


im going for blood donation..
ahhh shit..needles..and my dad
goes.." you can pierce ya lips, dare not pierce
needle into your blood vessel..really dumb! "
wah lao oiiiii....i scared mahhhhh..eh the needle damn
HUGE CAN?! i got HUGE needle problem...haiyer...
LOL wish me luck for that shit..cause i might FAINT!
LOL.. dumb shit..okay la..im going to sleep kinda tired..

slept t four than woke up at 7 for church today..
I NEED SLEEP right now!! see ya'll soon, i hope..




liLsaint

❤18022008
P.S. I LOVE YOU

watch it on monday with sylvia..its was uberly sweet..swear i would want a husband like him..


Holly Kennedy (Hilary Swank) is beautiful, smart, and married to the love of her life—a passionate, funny and impetuous Irishman named Gerry (Gerard Butler). So when Gerry’s life is taken by an illness, it takes the life out of Holly. The only one who can help her is the person who is no longer there. Nobody knows Holly better than Gerry. So it’s a good thing he planned ahead - by leaving her a list of tasks revealed in 10 monthly messages that are intended to ease her out of grief and transition her to a new life.


before the husband died he did all the arrangements for her..
i think any guy would do this for his wife.. is a wonderful man..
im gonna catch it again..its so wonderful..one of the best love shows
i ever watched..and it made me so touched i cried like ALOT!

i want a guy like him..and im going to start searching soon..
i want the most perfect, sweet and loving husband..
someone like GERRY..


P.S. I LOVE YOU






'liLsaint

❤Old C.H
was there after service and fellowship..i pia cab to meet , melvin,vic, jacq and sylvia.
went old.c.h around 10.15..shiiitt..scarryyyy...hahahas oh well..hahahas..
shall not blog bout this anymore..hehes..


well i guess its time i move on..its been 5 months since its over..and he's found someone new..
i think too should do that..and in anyways..i think i found someone who could accept me for
who i am and not what i am but..im not ready and i don't want to get hurt over and over again..
i cried enough..im hurt MORE than enough..i dont want to carry on this way..

he's a good guy but i doubt i can pull through..i know everything he knows bout me..
duhhhhh 4 yrs friendship!!on the phone all the time.. bestfriendssss..oh wells..
but i think im not cut for bgr NOW..still got 2 yrs more than im in aussie..with all
the hotties..oh god..slap me thrice and hand me to me mama!! oh wells.................

i should just sit down and lay lowwww..LOLS...hahas..
damn..i want alot in a guy..wow he'll go bonkers man!!
HAHAHAS..oh well..shit...gtg..im going out with sylvia
and she's getting me ma jacket! yays!! hahas!!






see ya'll






Vampire Heart!

❤Day Out With Sylvia
HAHAS this post was meant for ytd!
came home around 1 am so i was kinda tired
decided not to blog la..in anyways..
the day started out LATE!!!
say want to meet in 10 min(which i did not know the time)
best..when i reach tm mrt..she was still waiting for bus...
thanks ah..hahahahs oh wells..than when we were in the train
if in not wrong at Paya Lebar, some stupid idiot brought durian
into the train..SHIT and it smelled..damn it..the whole time
i was suffocating..and this was how i look when i smell durian..



LOL oh wells..than we went to recruit blah blah blah..
after which we went mos to eat than to bank in cash..
than went to heeren and we were in this particular shop
called flesh Imp..damn it i saw this jacket i want to but
after calling daddy he say rather not sulk the whole hour than
sylvia DECIDED TO GET IT FOR ME NEXT WK!! hahahas
i happy like SHIT!! hahahas than we went to city hall to get
for esther her requested belt..than while we were going to peninsula..
this lady (i think) over heard our conversation of going to the chingay..
she turned around and ask us if we wanted ticks..oh damn..SHE'S an Angel
sent from heaven! hahahs..
at chingay this was us posing!!



LOLS!!yea than oh wells waited for quite long
than it started ok formula 1 race cars were there..
and so on..it was two performance in particular..
guys were practically naked..OH GOD!! i could see
their freaking ass!!! damn..i was turned off..hahahas
oh wells..thn there was this fucking KIASU aunty who
fucking irritated me..she was like placing everything on
the floor taking up alot of space..like if her grandchildren
dont want to seat than let others stand there la..fucking ass la..
than towards the end she was pushing her way through behind me..
than i was bloody pissed la..i couldn't be bloody pissed, i almost push her
la..damn irritating than she ask her whole family to come..wah seh ..
rubbing against me i was like" eh fuck off lei" than when chin hock's
performance came i made sure i screamed like nuts to make sure
i deafened them and they were like practically starring at me and sylvia la
and we couldnt careless..hahas..than when his performance ended we left..
than went to tm interchange mac..and played and posed again..hahahas..
put the pic up another day...need to go cg liao..need to get ready..
see ya'll!! (:














Vampire Heart

❤officially sick
Sore Throat and Flu got me hard!!
and Laura is officially sick..which i hardly get sick..

rahh stress is to be blamed on...oh wells..
what can be worst?? family is tearing apart..
lovers to enemies now..everything feels like
dieing including me..i wish i can just die..i
dont wish to stay alive any more longer..

forget it..it'll never happen..



gavin..you love her, tell her before its too late..
she's leaving..its not like she's coming back!!
3 months isn't long..she's waiting for you!


when you love someone tell them..when they are gone,
they might not come back, its like tears in rain..







Vampire Heart

❤she is such an attention seeker
to think bout what happen a FEW days ago..i wanna puke!
so wanna act emo la..red and black..er xin bodoh..its damn
wanna act la!! wanna follow trend but cant find her personality..
wtf??! her face is not even fit for and emo..better let alone a goth..
its fucking disgusting and she talk damn fucking loud la..
wtf?? scared the whole world cannot her huh?? like im getting piss
with her man!! can she stop acting in front of the guys..its damn
"I NEED A BOYFRIEND!, GUYS LOOK AT ME AND ADMIRE ME!!"
EWWW..fucking despo can?? laugh for no fucking reason and also
whatever weird things the guys do she also want to do..its like WTF??

i and **HER cant stand that wanna be somebody..she's so act la..
she become ah lian and get stab i wont be surprise..first day know
her, she know i got back up..than she say if she make trouble or get into
trouble ask my back up come for her..fuck man?? i dont even ask my
back up come for help, she think she who sia...

cant stand her dressing..it just want to make me puke ...
if she ever wear what style im wearing now im so gonna puke man..
it so doesnt uit her!!

oh yea i got alot to bitch bout her man!!!
taxi fare i say we share, she think like crazy..
like everytime i'm paying for it la..than when i say i pay she
happy like fuck..than when ask her fork out abit..
give me the reluctant face.. like as though she only got a DOLLAR
in her wallet..fuck man..she damn wanna get beating from me la..
keep wanting to see my handphone songs..than keep blue tooth-ing..
like she got com to dl la!! wtf..she very dumb and no brain issit??
its damn shit can?? she really is a WANNA BE..its OH MY GOD!!!
..no comments man..told gav..he was like SHE LOOK LIKE AN ALIEN LA!
wtf?? emo wanna be..oh my tian kong ah..in chinese he said this" the sky's
bout to drop above my head can??" hahahas..so lame la..
but seriously she should find something that suits her..its not like
there is nothing..its that she is picking the wrong clothes and the wrong shops..
best thing SHE DONT SUIT BLACK!! thats the best part she's thin (not skinny) and
she's to tan and she's a fugly retarded ass..its fucking obvious most of US**
knows she wanna be FITTED IN THE COOL GROUP OR THE "IN" ONES..
-_-" its obvious..trying to fit in cause she doesnt want to be out casted,
wanna act though she's got a million friends..FOR WHAT SIA??!

more friends = more problem = more trouble

a group of few GOOD friends is enough...
whats the point of so many friends and get back stabbed ??
she dumber than the dumb blonds..at least they aren't
sitting on their brains..

everytime see her she tries to get close to them ..and she thinks i have this
thing for guys..because i got ex(s) so i know how to tackle guys..she's siao la!
as if i got that electrical eye..siao la..that shows by even sticking with me,
she dont know me well..besides for WHAT i am.. = goth / gothloli + emo
ever try to be one im gonna just die in that trend..really step la..
say she knows this particular shopping center damn well..as if la..
Laura's favorite shopping center can??

really wanna test her and see if she knows that shopping center..
bet she will stutter..ask her bring me to those EMO and popular shops..
bet she dunno how to walk there la...motherfucker la...say she know my god bro..
he thinks she's sai la..HAHAHAHS oh wells he's mean anyways.even her senior thinks
she's disgusting..HAHAHAHAS!! i think so too..hehes...



come on msn only say hi than nothing say liao..bet got no one talk to her thats why..
boring shit..hahahah..such a loser!!








such a sad commentary in and of itself..

❤no more in love
Every and anyone may think my parents are divorced and
i'm happy bout it..why because i have what i wanted - FREEDOM!
but not this way...

fuck the bitch who said this okay?!
"just because laura parents are divorced she has so much freedom and
still want to be an emo, doesn't she think she just want sympathy?"

bitch!! you know who you are la..you have a wonderful family for the
rest of your life..and i dont anymore..PLEASE and i dont want sympathy, bitch!

put yourself in my shoes la..even cny was a bad one for me okay???









i hate my life i hate everything and i hate everyone.
i hate what im going through..
DO NOT JUDGE ME!!














only you make everything right
please get well soon alex..
i want to kill the person who landed you in
hospital on cny 2nd day..



Vampire Heart

❤Valentine
I gotta bad feeling its gonna suck this year..
not because i dont have one but because
the person is a highly mad guy..and gay boyfriend
is angry..wtf..






Maddeningly Unhelpful!!















Vampire Heart

❤STEAM BOAT!!!
today got steam boat wor at yung er's home..
dang shiok..got pool table..play like crazy..hahahas..


we started steamboat like i dunno what time la..
than after eating i went back to play..its 6 months
since i touched the pool table..but want to play
billiard so badly..rahhh..yea..anyways.

i came home and was shock to see the house in a
mess!! daddy was painting the ceilings..and its gonna
be like that for a freaking few more days and im getting
sick of the house in a mess!! oh yea..the least to say,
im in love with my NEWLY PAINTED DOOR!! hahahas..
so dang whit..but my room walls aren't paited yet..but once
they are done im changing sthyle to goth punk style..
behind the door there will be a heartgramm on it..
getting kim ki jun to do for me...dang i saw his
room!!! sooooooo nice..soooooooo punk!!
so style..so artistic..hahhas..all his emo-goth punkish
drawing and graffiti..man if only daddy allow im gonna
paint my room dark grey..ki jun's room is FUCKING BLACK!!
dang..i wanna be his sister..hahahs..and his name was
graffitied on the walls sooooooo nice..i could kiss the wall
and marry it..hahahs so black..and the walls had devils star..
heartgramm..a7x skull..converse skulled shoe..danggg...this
punk is on the roll..he is so lucky..rahhhhhh...and his room
has a VENDING MACHINE!! how cool can room be??

dangg..decided a whole night last night not to do tattoo!!
hope everyone who objects is happy..hais bye bye needle..
rahhhhh..



oh wells..just to think of my future..rather not..shit..
it hurts man not to have it on..hahahs..oh wells..
ahhh..need to stop being in the tattoo shop or i'll go
bonkers..hahas..oh well i think i heard my fave old time song..
all or nothing by o town..feel like crying..

suddenly miss him alot..joel say he went for sunday service
but never see him liao.. i wonder how is he..never update his blog..
and stuff..it really hurts..to think of him and the past we shared..

think i blog enough..feeling sick and emo now..
going to do some Lolita drawings..see ya'll










VAMPIRE HEART

❤Treacherous Traitor
PESTILENT,

TRAITOROUS,

COW-HEARTED,

YEASTY COD-PIECE

CRIMINY LIKE,

DESPAIR LEADS TO BETRAYAL

DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS ALL BY YOUR LONESOME?

THESE ARE THE LAST FRIENDLY WORDS YOU'LL HEAR

I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU, FECULENT MAGGOT

YOU A SIGHT FOR SORE EYE









I'M UNAVAILABLE FOR USE AS A LEVERAGE

WERE I IN A DIVULGATORY MOOD, WHAT THEN MIGHT I DIVULGE, TRAITOR?

YOU'RE AN BREAD CRUMB TRAIL?


















WHAT I DID WAS WITHOUT A DROP OF RUM

THERE IS A COST MUST BE PAID IN THE END





















A SAD COMMENTARY IN AND OF ITSELF