❤crushcrushcrush
well i don't know much but i feel it.
SOMETHINGS GONNA HAPPEN SOON!

There's nothing more for me to say

• I'm Tired Of people pushing me around
• I'm Tired Of the Things i have to put up with
• I'm Tired Of putting up a fake smile and say everything A-OKAY!
• I'm Sick Of Lies. I'm Sick of telling lies that money is all i need.
  

I want to do what i want. I want to be free.




if there is something to tell me let me know..

❤N or M?
this fucking shit!

oh well.. turned girly i suppose?
oh shit! today mood's a horror!
went to tanjong beach to support
Brandon and the band (THE GENTLEMEN) NOT!
LOL oh well.. me and my gal friend were tanned..like now
i have two different tone..shit! how ugly..I WANT TO BE FAIR!!
DAMN IT!

oh wells..cried before service ytd..so shit..cried like fuck..
oh well..ytd zone movie was shit!!! damn lame..funny like hell.. -_-
OH LOW!!! im sick as well..oh shit.. tmr got work..tmr is gonna
be a long day..damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!! im tired physically and emotionally..
i really want to rest in but tmr i getting my cheque tmr..MONEY MONEY MONEY!!
hahas! im in love with the cheque! OH LOW!!! now i only have mind for MONEY!
gonna go river island to get that wallet.. than get my LV purse.. AWW MAN! its shiok!
its so B-E-A-UUU-T-I-F-UUU-LLLL!! MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND!!
MONEY IS MY LIFE! nothing you cant do with money!


WISH LIST

• Touch IPod
• River Island Skinny Jeans ($129)
• River Island Wallet ($53)
• Zinc Bag ($50)
• Tops from, River Island, Top Shop,
  
• Dorothy Perkins, Levis, Skin, Ed Hardy
• Cap from Ed Hardy
• ANYTHING FROM ED HARDY!
• BOOTS!!

I NEED TO O-T!
I NEED MONEY!!
LOL

❤One Sweet Day
well its been a week long. haven't really blogged..
well works okay.. just a lil mundane kinda
(have to use this word) FUCKING BORING!
its so boring Andy kept going to the gents to sleep..
wth? well haven't been eating regularly.. well trying
to spoil this body.. hope its damaged..so yeah whatever..

yesterday's service was so funny..heard alot of wrong stuff like
Vision and dream, i heard pigeon and dream..LOL! well
est, elieen, rach and me couldnt stop laughing..
well i didnt want to be rude but i fell asleep..like
HEY! i have to wake up early everyday and im tired..
i might be going to church lesser.. too tired.. i need to sleep in
more..well i wanna work on sat and sun to make lots of cash..
HAHA! well i couldn't careless bout anything besides work (:
well everything so not important..money is..

dave told me i've become more materialistic..hahas..i guess so too..
how cute..my phone, my braises, my tattoo and some other shit..
oh well.. nothing in this world will make me happy so, i'll buy stuff
to make myself happy (:




HELL is about to start again..
the dysfunction in my attitude is coming back
wow..how sweet..
LET ME SAY THIS YET AGAIN.

DO NOT PUSH MY LIMITS!
QUIT ASKING ME WHY THIS, WHY THAT?
I'VE ENOUGH OF PPL ASKING ME WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO IN LIFE! I THINK ITS ENOUGH.
ITS MY LIFE AND I DO WANT TO DO WITH IT.




This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

[Chorus:]
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

[Chorus:]
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

[Chorus:]
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive

[Chorus:]
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!

❤hot topic
wow between "sefron" (idiotic "bitch" but a guy), jest and jess, camil and travis
its a hot topic between them..that im not going to count a single BOO in my future.
well here's the answer

LIKE I SAIIIIIID! its for now..thats my plan..
i dont want the heartaches..no panadol to it..
whiskey hardens my liver sooo, i think thats
the answer to your lame shitness!

well i think tmr start work i'll go bonkers reallllll soon!
i dunno what will become of me..cause im so sick of life..
maybe ya'll might see a smashed up head at the 1st floor
of my hdb..well i couldnt careless! i hate everything bout
everything and everyone.. couldnt enjoy myself in life after
that post he post..bitch.. its stuck in my BRAINS!

and i'm getting really sick of shits from ppl not able to cope with
life..why because YA'LL ARE CODEPENDENT! damn!
how bout those with family breaking up of broken?!
so whats ya fucking attitude towards everyone who's concerned
for you..damn! just because you cant shake him off your "dark past"
that doesnt give you the right to piss off everyone..
well its not that the world OWES you a living...if you feel so pityFOOL!
try killing yourself and stop blaming the world that its our fault..

i dont care what you wanna throw at me im not gonna
give you sympathy just because you're in "pain"
stand up on your two feet and not fall over this again.





IM GIVING UP!!!!
on this blog..to lazy to blog..

❤wo bu pei

maybe im letting go..i cant go on loving him in silence.
he's at the other end of the hallway.. he's to far..


well i decided to plan my future without anyone..
by 2 to 3 years time i will pursue my dreams..
by the age of 25 i might not want to get married..
i want to travel around the world..i want to plan
my future without anyone in it..

if we are destined we'll be together but i dont want
that to happen..i want to be free and not tied down
i dont want to be stuck with someone..i want to
roam the world..i want to see the world.. i want to travel..


for now, i know what i want..i prefer to be single and not
like/love anyone..its better to be free..i want to concentrate
on my job and maybe i might find someone from there
but definitely NO! haaaa..well i really feel i should be
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

❤ice skating rocked!
well ytd went to play pool at paradiz plaza
well played with, yi xian, pris, rach, me, preety lady
(forgot her name), matt, dickson, tedd, ben, abel, er i think no more..
er ya.. than after that only left me xian pris and rach and ben..
WAH!!! i tell you ah! ben so irritating..but to think of it
his cute and he wished he was gay.? er weird? okay lol

well Skating has to rock! today i told myself for ONCE NOT TO FALL~
and unfortunately i did! danggggg..it hurted..i fell on my butt and it hurt
so badly..its been a long time i fell..ouuuuuucccchhhhhhhhhh!
i have to fall i dunno why..i have to..and when you fall..you dont even know
it and the next thing you know you're butt hurt and you;re landed on the ground..
i played bowling today toooo..well finger hurt like crap but it was before
skating..ahhhhhh..home is sweet!






















FAREWELL TO RIC FLAIR!
NATURE BOY!
WRESTLING SUPERSTAR!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

❤i saw summer fade at the end of your eye
well after blogging last night i went down
to eat 7 11 to go buy some chip..end up not eating
and went to bed..well moody as ever..guess my only
hope is tmr outta pool and some friends to cheer me up

decided to start wearing my red skinnys..
damn so bright..feels like blood..bloody shyt..
the red skinny is like GOD! , so damn tight..
like went for altering..busted..was wearing
it ytd..went out with jestin and gang..well
jes the SUPER AH BENG wore GREEN
skinny.. looked liked grass..ewwwww..
yea oh well..

thinking of red..red and black is the new sex..
wowweee...no wonder i see red tops everywhere
i go..

well just watched a short clip on youtube.
BITCH AND WHORES!! abortion is damn
cruel la! wah piang! i feel sad for the 5 mth baby
in the mummy's tummy..oh god!!!
it made my heart cry out..

People stop aborting these lives man!!
bloody hoes!!

well i think i wont be blogging for awhile now...
so anything just contact me via sms
or call me

❤so fill this hole with my prescription, i just keep feeding my addictions
i maybe feeling down but that
doesnt mean i've given up..
i've gotta a war to fight..i wont give up
so soon but awhile more. my flesh cant
stay for long..

tempting to feed back my old addictions
with prescriptions labeling
- Path To Death -

well penknives are calling me
medicine cupboard is calling me

what else.. the ROOFTOP is calling me
damn..its hurting my head..

made plan
so all ways are fair..

eat mountain of pills -> slash my wrist
then JUMP OFF.. (:

well what a cool plan..
someone had done it somehow..

the truth came out i found myself
wrapped around it ribbons and strings
the liar blinded me, deafened me
kept me in a dark dark place..
i wanna bring her there..
let her feel the horror there.
not knowing what is next
whats the next step..
which path which sign
not knowing where..


Death told me a few years he'll take me away
from the mass pain i gone through
2 to 3 years from than..I want to leave the
web i weaved. the passion's gone the faith is wearing
thin.. I've never been so alone I've never felt so insecure
And now I don't know where I'm going
In my life now, I'm not so sure..

Lost and broken ,hopeless and lonely.
Smiling on the outside and hurt beneath my skin.
My eyes are fading, my soul is bleeding.
but i'll try to make it seem okay..
now my mind is an open book, now my heart is an open wound,
now my life is an open soul for all to see.
so you come along, i push you away,
Then kick and scream for you to stay.
cause I need someone to help me..

im awakening in the shadows once again

I got your letter, read that mom was gone
I never thought that dad would ever lose his mind
I haven't slept it seems like all week long
And I've prayed a thousand times
I held this letter in my hand
and start to shake then wonder is the end
is this the end? I took for granted
all the things you've given me
I say this is the end. I'll raise my fist
Shout and scream, I wont resist this life
Become the dream

I remember waking up on empty shelves
In empty rooms, in lifeless skys
In lifeless skies, in empty shells
I remember when I used to
be my own self
I remember when i was so young
and wake up so lost now

In this darkness am I faithless
Am I heartless am I soulless
In this silence and this violence
Look I'm lifeless look I'm soulless
This darkness am I voiceless

i'm in hell.
Laughing in my misery.
The desperate fade to black and it suits me well.
in a world where we all just waste away and suffer,
In a place you cry for today.
Love, silence, and fade away.
Darkness, darkness, and decay.
A scarlet kiss and what to say.

--------

I saw the truth, mom's a whore.
I saw the mark as she passed through the door.
I saw the truth, you're a whore.
Distill the scene and don't lie to me no more.
So what's killing you?
Is it the demon inside?
Look out you're turning blue..
A suffocating lie.
To wake up she fucks the pain. (Wipe those tears away.)
She wears make-up to hide the shame. (Wipe those tears away.)
Her sanity rides low and self esteem won't grow.
Tonight she'll miss and all she knows, and all she knows, all she knows is bliss.
Her black eyes filled with the love she wrote:
"I'm not insane, I'm sorry I have to go."
These walls are painted red, she put a bullet in her head.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye is all she said.
YOU'RE ALL I'VE GOT
-Bliss by Adien

Burn Your Friends
Living is easy
With your eyes closed by and by.
Do you wake up, do you wake up and cry at night?
The evil inside that breaks right through the light,
With hard times and long goodbyes.
Take me into your dark dream
and scream so loud this place fills with misery
Suffer the kiss
And take me out alive.
We're those things that you despise
(We will sing)
We're the suffering alive
Burn Your Friends
Shadows and hearts
In which to carry your rue aloud
Can you believe we are the shock of existence now?
Something's a miss, and this generation has been found.
We're brought to the underground.
Waste me to your dark dream
And taste me until all I see
A thousand sparks
We fake love futility.
I see the rain.








(im not emo just unhappy)

♥ The Opening Departure ♥
♥ RAIN IN HELL ♥

❤I'm Falling Out
words i cannot express how im cracking on the inside
here's to the one that tore my bleaking future apart
tore me into two ripped me into three.
the one i need most is the ONE who betrayed my family


so lock and load mercenaries
I see the smoke from the hilltop
they march one by one
the battled starts adversaries
we bathe in our blood
the worst is yet to come
we've reached the covenant
to kill what we have started
kill the machines
we've spawned to fight in the darkest hour

**A withered past and a blurry future,
My hearts on an auction,
It goes out to the highest bid.
So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.***
It's dead
One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose, so let me tell you the truth.
A deadly wish but it should've come sooner,
A corpse in a funeral that I would never attend.
There is a light on in the back of this house,
But you're not around, to die is to live in her head.
Last night I had the weirdest dream,
That you and I drove off the darkest streets,
Passing through these city lights,
Closure for the kids that died.

********[[[ Mother, where are you today?
You took a piece of me the day you went away,
No recollection or the smell of your perfume,
I took a piece of you the day I left the womb.
(The day I left the womb)
The best thing for me is to leave this awful town.
Please don't worry, I am doing fine.
You're much too busy to even find the time,
So use your chemicals and take this to your grave,
And daddy, how are you today?
You must be proud of the girls that you have raised.
Your withered heart, and everything it's seen,
Your cuts and callouses, you had kids to feed.
You had kids to feed. ]]] ********

So, the head lights murdered my thoughts
I curse this taste that's on my tongue
This taste will last until I rip it out
No, I won't need these gloves
Her bones are withered away
But her ghost will remain
So keep my casket closed
My heart beats under the floor
It haunts you in your dreams
And nothing's as it seems

If I could take you somewhere,
I'd take you to the darkest place,
scatter you in art forms, admire the whore
beauty in different ways, your hands on picture frames
your eyes in the glass wear your face as a mask

***Now you wait, like the drug,
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, how it hurts in the worst way,
now that you're gone, it's so wrong, it's so wrong.***

End transmission
The satellites are down
I need an earthquake
To shake this pity
Off the ground
Just don’t trust these liars at the door
Kill the ones that have these answers for
I fell so hard that I'm killing myself
Out of this grave that I've dug
And that fateful day
I found who I was
So fill this hole with my prescriptions
I just keep feeding my addictions

I cannot change you
you'll never change
I never would expect to break this in the end

So grab this statement
And read between the lines
I'm walking on an edge
That's how I stay alive
I need a fix now
The pills I have to take
It helps me live a lie
and blinds all my mistakes

before I die
I will have seen it all
the mountains I have climbed
help me enjoy the fall

Oh the webs you weave
We are caught in the fame
the passion's dead
the life you've lead
has drown in your shame

oh the webs I weave
I am caught in this game
my passions dead
the life I've lead
has drowned me in vain

so paint my portrait
the colours of my life
and the untold stories are painted in black and white
i can hear the footsteps
that follow to my pulse
this paranoia has haunted me like a ghost

It's ripping me and tempting me
To give you this gun
But all the time that you have lied
I've known what you done
A liar that blinded my eyes
Covered them with ribbons
I know a liar a that blinded my eyes
But my flesh always gives in






"I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me
I know that this will break me
I know that this might make me cry
You gotta say what’s on your mind, on your mind
I know that this will hurt me
And break my heart and soul inside
But I don’t wanna live this lie"

❤Guys are so delusional!
Dont understand why some guys have TO HIT THEIR GF???
bloody beastorious faggots! GUYS = JERKS!!!!

well interview was like crap..
lady felt so stress asking me crap
me too felt so stress to ans her..
oh well..

Keave pissed my day away
so i shan't say any more














guys are so delusional
over one small tinsy winsy shit,
ya'll have to hit ya gf..
bloody behemoths
SO UNGENTLEMENT!
BLOODY JERKS!!!!!!!!!

I HATE GUYS!!!!!!!!!!








im done talking!

❤$1.2K
well got interview tmr at
COURTS warehouse @ tampines

im getting better..so it should be okay

gazing through the skies of shining stars,
i feel like a idiot waiting for them to fly..
its once said (in a drama) even after 2.5 million
years later the stars will reunite..
and when 2.5 million years later
i still want to be the laura i am today and be
with my friends..i dont want this life to ever
fade away..i want this so bad..everything i am
today is because of the friends i know for almost
my entire life..and for the Miracle Maker who made
this life worth living and for letting me have a purpose
of what that small dream i wanted to be come alive..

WORLD'S RENOWNED HAIR STYLIST

"Pain is temporary, Glory is forever"


Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you

O can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches with every step you take

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

Since you've gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I keep crying baby please

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

❤sick imp
crapped up day

in the blues

tired

sleepy

grumpy

moody

sick

low

nonsensical day

❤10 reasons why Cows should wear bra!
well today went out with Random and Butler
to PS to eat Random's Chickenham and Cheese BAAAAALLS
well today was a BALL of a day oh well..
than go marina play POOL again..
lost twice..YAAAAA!! because 2 noob
against a trying to improve noob..

than go eat a macs around 4..
than go clarke quay to eat at SF BKT
well it taste good but im not a rice
person so did not really eat the rice
i kinda got phobia of rice..yeah..
OH LOW..michael sooooo smart..
asked him..why you work here, because
you like bkt ah??
ans: no la. because friend work here..
wow........ dress code was jersey shorts
and flip flops?? like er okay?? weird??
i wonder what if something hot happen
to drop on his leg?? like HAHAHA!!

today was like crap man too..
laugh to much..and we were a lil
noisy!! having fun..like who cares??
hahas Boobies and Balls were thrown
around verberlly everywhere we go..
hahas..we were rather high..


i think i left 15% before i fall damn sick
why?

Saturday - Long John
Sunday - Nasi Lemak
Monday - Sakae Sushi
Today - BKT
TMR - FALL SICK!!

im having flu and sore throat ++++++ coughing
which mean im gonna fall super sick
thanks to weather too..
while singing i off tune can??
how horrible...


























some ppl want diamond rings
but i just want onion rings..
if burger means everything
if i aint got fries!!

song from alicia keys
_if i aint got you_

well its our parody at the bus stop..
and i went off tune..
i want my original voice back!!!

❤black 8
today went to sakae sushi with Yi xian, priscilla and rachael..
wow..around 40 plates.. felt like a pig..
than went over to suntec to take neos
over to marina arcade to play POOL!!

definitely improved a zillion times!!!
well not too pro but - pro - yea...
8 april..going again but to plaza sing..

this time with MATT and BEN i guess
2 wonderful jokers..hahas..oh well..i
guess it was fun playing with yi xian
beat her at the end..hahas..I WON

well after that yi xian went home..
left the three of us so we went to
clarke quay to slack..was thinking
if we should go clubbing but our attire
a lil not fit la..got bags so decided to
go when matt and ben is there..
the uncles can bring us la..

oh well its 1 03 now..
random talk

took bus 12 from riverwalk ..
bloody hell it came like at 11++
reached bugis saw this familiar face..
ah shit! Alex Sotong.. well called me
so damn loudly..i almost went deaf
a zillion percent..sat with me till me destination..
and i thought to myself..
WHEN CAN YOU STOP TALKING
I WANNA SLEEP..hahahs..
oh well ..reached home..
had a lil of speech with daddy
for coming at 12.30 without calling home..
HAHAHA!! i never do it anyway..

oh well i gotta fall asleep now if not tmr no need
wake up and i guess i sure die if im late
going out with rach and pris to collect n level cert..


OH LOW..



MY EYES ARE HEAVY..







bitchly goodnight