❤unprepared changes
hmm. i dont know where to start

Adam and Farah are in S'pore..
hmm fun..i have bruises too..
owwwwwch..yup. well its been fun.

hmm.. just fun..
yup.. i'm physically tired.
was out the whole week..
still deciding should i go
suntec..?? or just stay home..
i really want to sleep.
just sleep. im soooooo tired.
but they are leaving for HK on
thursday come frieday, ya..
be back in a weeks' time but
only three days..

hmm.. ya.. was thinking of
going to work and save moneyyyyyhhh
and go UK to have FUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!
the chocolate factory. and LONDON (:
HAHA! okay. yup.. but i know i'll
freeze to death somehow..yape.

really tired though very exhausted
in thoughts. thought throughout the
whole of last night, i have really
changed alot in terms of attitude..
kinda alot more scary.. i dont know
maybe its just the face behind the
makeup just afraid to let myself
hurt myself again. so maybe i began
to protect myself in wrong ways..
i dont know.. i just dont want to live..
jsut want to sleep and never wake up.
friends just seem to know me as nice and
friendly and easy to get along. but it
sometimes get to the point:
"you dont know me well enough to tell me
what to do" but i try to tell myself
to take them as advice and change.
but i just seems as i am not good enough.
im not satisfied with what i am and what i have
i just want more of SOMETHING BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT!


i really rhank God for good friends around me.
ya. cause im really someone who cant control
my emotions and the lies that i make up for not
telling friends "im not okay" has began to become
so "like" the truth. i cant seem to talk to
anyone how i feel anymore. i feel so dead inside
not the BEN DEAD but DEEEAAAD! just dont want to
do anything. just want to die thats all..
and im not being all emo and stuff.. i just feel..
RAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH STOP PUSHING ME
TO DO THINGS I DONT WANT TO! JUST



FUCK OFF!



thats how i feel.