im desperate for an answer.
i cant believe i've survived
all this years. and what have
i gain through all this??

well im not having a mid life crisis thing.
but i sure am very in a very bad situation.
im in the saddest state once ever been
I cant explain what im feeling inside,
this is no place to try and live my life,
the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up

I feel like, I would like..
to be somewhere else doing something that matters
and I'll admit here, while I sit here,
my mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather
whats the purpose? It feels worthless
so unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit and
I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail again
And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all??

So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trivial, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it
Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run
And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it convincing myself the world's doing just fine
without me. Doing anything of any consequence,
without me. Showing any sign of ever making sense
of my time , it's my life And my right,
to use it like I should. Like he would,
for the good of everything that I would ever know

Yeah, I'm not angry. And no, I'm not upset.
It's taken me awhile. But this is what I've learned.
Emotional attachment is really not a threat.
When I'm simply not concerned to the things
that I take on, I soon shrug off'cause, I know no
one will ever be content with the way things are
or with what they've got.
So I've given up and now I'm just indifferent.

You all laugh at me like I'm not happy
with anything, any time, anywhere
and the half of me's all about apathy
and the other half just doesn't care
and I must admit, all the words you spoke,
I hated, cause I don't see just how I can be motivated
enough to break a sweat over a dying race.
It seems our fate is something we've already embraced

So take a wild guess
It's like I just couldn't care less
If all the things you find impressive
Just blew up and made those messes
That you'll frantically repair,
lke it's a life or death affair
and all the while you're unaware
for this, you really shouldn't care
but it's so hard to see the reality
that the end will be the end of things
and our hearts are all we get to bring
So go ahead and make them worth something.

I'm well aware that everything
Is a far cry from all right
I'm well aware that all of us
Can at times, be too uptight
And possibly, the remedy
Is a dose of apathy
You point your finger at you
I'll point mine right back at me

I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that the memories that you
select you keep the bad but the good you just forget
and even though I'm angry I can still say I know my
heart will break the day when you peel out and drive
away I can't believe this happened..

Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting atyou said goodbye
and I just don't want you regretting that and wisdom always
chooses these black eyes and these bruises over the heartache
that they say never completely goes away.

I remember when I used to wake up
i remember what I used to be I remember how
I used to wake up so wrong now I remember this life
I left behind,
on empty shelves,
in empty rooms,
in lifeless skys
In lifeless skys,
in empty shells
I remember when I used to
Be my own self
I remember when we were so young
I remember when I used to
wake up so lost nowI remember when we were so,
My friend,
My own,
My end.
Break watch me break,

This life has never made me questionis it wrong to think
how empty is the answers
This life has never made me questionis it wrong to think
This life I left behind. This life I left behind for you...